 by Mike Mosedale  POSTED MAY 7, 1998--As regular readers of The Star Tribune well know, the Newspaper of the Suburbs of the Twin Cities seldom shies from any opportunity to embarrass itself. Take, for one obvious example, the Strib's peculiar embrace of New Age business jargon. A while back, editors somehow morphed into "team leaders" and people who buy papers became "customer-readers." For a scary spell there, big decisions emanated from a paranormal-sounding troika called "the managing entity." In its
ever-increasing overtures to assorted demographic niches, however, the Strib has revealed
impulses far more mortifying than the mere debasement of standard media lingo. "Genny X" - a "hip" advice column (oxymoron alert!) targeted at 20-somethings - ought to be counted as the Strib's silliest trespass in this regard. After all, when daily newspapers affect a hip pose, the results are always embarrassing. It shrieks incongruity, as if someone's boozy accountant dad has gone and gotten his nose pierced. Genny X was a naked and somewhat feeble enticement to a problematic, non-newspaper reading demographic - people under 30. One can only imagine the boardroom meeting which launched the concept: A gaggle of paunchy middle management types in Dockers and tasseled loafers mapping out the strategy to lure in readers with the promise of sassy and, yes, hip comment on the lifestyles of the younger set - of course, all this through a voice capable of dispensing vital advice to X-ers more winningly than, say, the geezerly veterans Abby and Ann Landers or the loathsome Dr. Laura or the rest of Q and A stable at the Strib. Alas, it seems the experiment failed. Genny X, for those of you who didn't manage to wade through the May 3 Variety, has made her final appearance, announced under the oh-so-perky headline, "Hey, everybody: It's time for Genny to say goodbye." According to the editor's - I mean, team leader's note - Genny resigned to "pursue writing and tanning opportunities in California." Ugh. No obituary would be complete without noting that Genny has been the source of petite scandal at the Strib from the start. Indeed, after the appearance of the inaugural column, it was revealed that the "reader" questions were actually authored by Beigedale staffers - not lovesick Gen X-ers, as purported. A petty fraud with a long journalistic pedigree (advice columns are notorious for bogus queries), but a fraud nonetheless. Indeed, Genny's recent farewell raises questions over whether or not there may have been a peculiar, even serendipitous symmetry in the life of the column. You be the judge. In her goodbye, Genny concluded with the following story: "I was hawking old futon covers on the street corner last weekend. A man walked by to survey my stuff. He decided not to take anything, but gave me some money for my move. 'It's good to take a leap,' he said. 'Never live your life with regrets.' Every once in a while strangers give good advice." What a nice little anecdote to round out the farewell! How convenient! How can I meet this kindly fellow? Hey, everybody, where's that horrible smell coming from? To her fans, I suppose, Genny must have come off as the winsome little troublemaker - always ready to take on those topics the geriatric advice gurus never seem to address. There was, of course, the infamous "peeing in the shower" column, which examined the hygiene and frequency of the practice. Some readers were predictably offended and the flame-up gave birth to a terse note of this-is-a-family-paper condemnation from stolid ombudsmen Lou Gelfand. Game little Genny, though, stood up for herself in a subsequent retort, advancing the now classic newsroom "shower-peeing is newsworthy" argument. More preposterous yet, Genny defended the legitimacy of the column on the grounds that comic explorations of shower-peeing were televised on both "Friends" and "Seinfeld" - those two Gen X-er virtual touchstones. At long last, newspapers are defending their editorial decisions on the basis of those of television! Actually, it's quite fitting, as newspapers - television's plain and jealous little sister in many American homes - increasingly appropriate the methods and ethics of that medium. In truth, though, the problem with Genny X was less one of vulgarity than triviality. Who out there really was curious about Genny's insights into inane complaints such as, "My mom is always griping at me about the way I look...I have red and green striped hair," or "My girlfriend drives me crazy with her whistling?" Oh, those crazy kids. Sorry, though, but a passing reference to Ween hardly raises the hipness quotient. Again, that oxymoron thing. Still, the modest rise and fall of Genny X is illuminating. The Strib, like many newspapers about the nation, frets exceedingly over fears of lost readership. Sure, adding Genny X to "the product" was hardly likely to save the Strib from 20-something apathy. But nervous businessmen aren't happy unless they always try something - anything - new. What is most pathetic about such naked ploys are the insecurity and loss of purpose they reveal. After all, the Strib is still a very fat operation. Cowles Media just sold for nearly twice as much as Rolls Royce (one billion-plus to $566 million). Do our friends at McClatchy really have so much to worry about these days? Puh-lease, just collect your paychecks and head home early. And nothing hip from now on, okay? |
The strangely banal "Faith and
Values" section - which very nearly shouts, "Hey, there, fellow believers, we
are NOT godless journalists! We even like Christian rock!" - exposes this weakness,
as does the vapid offering to shop-aholics, "The Buyer's Edge." It seems the
bean counters at the Strib have concluded that the alleged readership crisis in print
media is best addressed by offering a new, "lite" product - stripped of
fattening hard news calories - and delivered in convenient bite-sized nuggets. As a
result, the paper's news hole, now more than ever, is clogged with tripe.